


Transition to Love

by TwistAndShout_af



Category: Transit (book by Anna Seghers)
Genre: M/M, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-09 21:09:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6923449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistAndShout_af/pseuds/TwistAndShout_af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the narrator of the novel, Transit, by Anna Seghers, goes about France looking for a transit visa, he finds another thing to help him anchor him in place, a new love: Paul Strobel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first actual fic. May contain errors, so please comment if you find any so that I could edit them. Danke. (Thats German for thank you)

The 1940s had been a terrible time for us all, Jews and non-Jews alike. Everyone was looking for a way to escape German troops. Everyone was always on the move. I, too, had been on the move for I needed a transit visa and a multitude of seemingly irrelevant paperwork, stamps and identification. Why don't you take a seat? This is going to be a while and I can be boring at times. Now, where was I? Oh, right. Transit visas. I had needed proof that I was planning on leaving France do that I could stay. Seems ridiculous now, right? But back then had been a different place. 

The powerful had become powerless. Those with homes had now become the homeless. Those with identities that entail danger, as in my case, had to find a new one so I could escape another capture by the Germans. But even with all the movement, fleeing, taking on new identities, I did have one constant in my life, the one anchor to keep me grounded. A man named Paul Strobel. 

Where is he now, you ask? Well he’s out running errands and at the café down the street writing some article for the local newspaper, most likely. He loves to write. It's one of his passions. He's a most splendid writer. His writing was one thing, out of many, of course, that won him over in my heart. 

How did we meet, you ask? Well, Paul had long since been a buddy of mine. We've known each other even long before we were both put in a work camp, which was not too bad actually. But being at that camp with paul had changed my life for the better. I have always been there for him and he has always been here for me. When we were working at the camp, someone had stepped on Paul's hand. I had rushed him indoors in an attempt to find some medical assistance. It was no use. No one of help was there so I guess it was my job to take care of Paul. Scurrying indoors was difficult what with crippling anxiety weighing heavy on my shoulders. I tried looking for a rag or cloth of some kind and made sure it was clean enough to wrap his hand and stop further bleeding. Oh, how much blood came from his hand! It was inconceivable how much blood was able to exit a wound from someone stepping on Paul's hand. It d terrible; we'd all thought he would never be able to use his hand ever again. 

Paul had been in so much pain. His weeping made me feel bad for him. I had looked for a couple of chairs on which we could sir while I wrapped his hands. 

“Don't worry, Paul, I'm trying to bandage your hand so that it will heal properly,” I said as I rinsed his hand with my own at the rusty sink in the corner of the room. Paul had clearly been in very much pain. His eyes were red and swollen from crying. He had been hyperventilating and seating as well, for it was, to some extent, muggy in the room. When I was rinsing his hands, I had experienced a shortness of breath. I had first thought it had been from seeing a friend of mine crying but oh, how I was then wrong.

I moves him and told him to sit in a chair while I rinsed the dirty rag I found on the floor. Before I was to wrap his hand with the rag, I held his hand between mine for a brief moment as I said, “This might hurt so clench your other hand onto something. 

I moved another chair to face opposite his. I placed the now somewhat clean rag on my left thigh close to my knee on which Paul could place his hand. I grabbed his hand, tenderly, and set it on top of that same rag. I told him to get a firm grip on something and that's exactly what he did. He grabbed my right leg, where my knee meets my thigh. I wrapped the rag around his hand and I tied it. He gripped my leg tight. It didn't hurt one bit for it was his weak left hand. What hurt me was the tears that were streaming down his face. I tried being as gentle as I possibly could have been. He had whimpered. 

“I know this hurts but I have to do this. I have to take care of you,” I said, trying to reassure him. His breathing hitched as he whimpered. I felt bad for him. I felt sorry for him. He could not sit still. 

“It'll be fine.” No response from him. His mouth had been filled with pain. 

When I finished, I sternly told him to leave his hand where it already was, on my leg. The pain had flushed out of him and his breathing began to steady. 

“There you go. All done,” I remarked, trying to lighten the mood a bit. Even after a minute of silence, he still had his head down. And that's when I brought my hands up to his face, lifted his chin with my right hand, leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

I pulled away once I realized what I had been doing. “I'm sorry, Paul. Forgive me. I just-”

“Don't apologize,” he cut me off. 

“Wait. What?”

“No need to apologize for that,” he said, still staring down at the floor. “I actually rather enjoyed it.”

I was befuddled. I was in awe. That moment, I placed my hands in Paul's face and brought our mouths together. That's when I felt a spark between Paul and myself. It was a feeling like none other. This time, the kiss was much more passionate than the last. But I had to be careful as to not hurt his hand, which made its way up my thigh. 

“I never knew that you felt this way about me,” I said while letting out a small breath. “I'd never thought that anyone would like me, even after-” Paul stopped me by placing his succulent lips onto mine. 

“I didn't either,” he said between kisses. 

I placed my hands on his sides just above his hips and grabbed him. I guided him to sit on my lap. His legs were partly planted on the floor as his left arm hooked around my back. 

This is going to get sexual rather soon, should I go further with my story? Well only if you say so. I don't want to bore you to sleep. 

I put my hands under Paul's shirt and pulled him closer, towards me. Each further kiss sent electricity down my spine and blood into my personal area. Every kiss stole the oxygen out of my breath. I felt the stiffening in my pants brush up the underside of his thighs. I ran my fingers up and down the crevices of his back, feeling how Paul trembles at the touch of my fingers. 

I lean my head down so that my mouth is making contact with his neck and I began to kiss and suck on the edges where his beard grows, an area prone to being sensitive. Paul began to moan quietly along as he exhales. He had always loved it when I kissed his neck. It was a kind of addiction for him. But I always liked to pleasure him. 

I reached with my hands down into the waist band of his trousers and under garments and at that spot, I pull him closer.

“Paul?” I ask, taking our mouths apart.  
“What is it? Is something wrong?” Paul sounded worried. 

“It’s just that are we to continue doing this or should we talk about where this is going?” I didn't know where that confidence came from. Hitherto now, it had been unheard of. 

“Well I do suppose that we should discuss this. Certainly, we have to keep this- us, I mean, a secret because, you know, people don't take homosexuality too nicely. It's looked down upon.” 

Paul got off my lap and sat on his chair. Naturally, I held on to his hands. I couldn't breathe. My chest ached. 

“Does this mean we can't be with each other?” I asked, fighting back tears. 

“I'm not completely sure.”

“Then what do we do about us?”

“I don't know. I just don't know,” I could sense that he was frustrated. I was frustrated too. The only thing that was going well for me and, as quickly as it came, it was going to be taken away from me. Paul was the only person that I could talk to and not get bored. 

“There's nothing we can do to change social opinion on homosexuality but we can keep this a secret. I'll do anything for you. I care about you. You were the only person to care for me and look after me. I've never met anyone who has been so nice to me.”

“Paul,” I took a deep breath. “I think I may be in love with you.” 

“I think I may be in love with you too. I don't know what it is about you exactly that I love. Well, it's everything about you that I love.”

“Add one other thing to that list: I'm going to get us our of here. Tonight, even if it’s the last thing i do.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's a short chapter. Kind of. I don't know. No sex. Yet. (Sorry Jay. You'll all have to wait)

“And how do you suppose we do that?” Paul asked, excited and worried. 

“Well we would have to escape at night when it would be easier.”

“It’s getting pretty late and don't you think people are going to come looking for us by this time?”

“No one's looking for us. To them we are all disposable workers. Some leave, others enter. They get replaced. But we should get going anyways. And start planning for tonight.”

The next few hours were spent in the little bungalow to which we were assigned to stay. Mostly, we sat around doing absolutely nothing, being bored to death. 

I was beginning to get nervous. “What if this doesn't work out as planned?” I thought to myself. Anxiety plagued my thoughts. “What if I never get to see Paul after this ever again?” 

I tried to appear to be calm on the outside. But I guess Paul could see that I was nervous about something. 

“It's going to turn out alright,” comforted Paul. 

“Well what if it doesn't?” 

“It's going to work, and this is _your_ plan by the way. Don't you have confidence in your abilities?”

“No.”

“Well I do. I have always had confidence in you.”

As I was sitting on the edge of the bed, Paul came from behind and hugged me. I leaned my head back to rest on him. He then proceeded to kiss me on my cheeks. I tilt my head up to signal Paul that he has complete access to my neck. Oh how I love his neck kissing. It always gets me excited. Sexually, that is. 

Paul flopped down onto the bed, stomach facing up. He extended his arms towards me signaling to lay down with him. I turned around and crawl over him. I position myself so that I sit above his pubic area and that my legs cradle his sides. I bring my head down so that Paul and I are face to face. 

I could feel the bulge in Paul's pants. I wrapped my arms around him to hold him in place. I didn't want to lose Paul. Up until now, I never knew how much one person could mean to me. Paul had always been a good pal of mine. And to think now we're currently planning our futures together! 

I was content laying there, with Paul under me. Staring into each other's eyes. 

“Paul, Deine Augen sind wie Sterne.” 

_Paul, Your eyes look like stars._

Paul ran his good hand through my hair as I went for a kiss. He had been so passionate as to bringing our mouths close. I stuck my tongue down his throat as far as I could. After that is felt something rub against my crotch. It was Paul. He had been rocking himself and rubbing my hard on with his. It was so pleasurable. My mind filled with ecstasy. With my hands, I reached up into Paul's shirt to feel how his lean muscle flexed with every movement that he made That lasted for about twenty minutes until Paul interrupted by speaking. 

“Don't you think we should be leaving? You and I both know that we don't want to stop what we're doing right now but we should really be leaving if we want to make it out safely.”

He was right. We did have to get moving. 

“Okay let's get moving,” I proclaimed with a big grin on my face. “Take anything that we're going to need.” I said that as if we had much. Well there was a few identification papers and such. 

“We gotta move, but quietly. People may be hearing.”

As we walked outside, we noticed that there appeared to be no one outside, really. It was a blessing to my anxiety. As I was looking out in front of us, Paul was checking behind us to see if anyone was following us. 

When it was clear, we started running. Running to escape this camp. It wasn't as atrocious as a concentration camp but nonetheless, no one really liked the work camp. It also wasn't as heavily guarded so it was easier to escape. 

Honestly speaking, I don't recall most of our escape because it was dark. I couldn't see a thing.All I remember was running. So much running. I do remember that at one point, I noticed that Paul was falling behind so I grabbed his hand as we ran. We didn't stop run until there wasn't but a building around. We reached a field when we finally stopped running. I wasn't much of a runner. Neither was Paul. We couldn't- rather wouldn't, run any more. So we rested under some tree. 

The moon, although not a full moon, shone brightly. It was a beautiful view. No not the moon. Paul. He was so enthralled in staring at the night sky. He looked so happy just staring into the night sky. He was so beautiful. 

“Ich liebe dich, Paul.”

_I love you, Paul_

“Ich liebe dich auch.

_I love you too._

I didn't know what it was but seeing Paul's face lit by the moon somehow made him the most beautiful man alive. After twenty minutes or so, I was beginning to get tired. So I get up and reposition myself so that I can rest on Paul. 

He was holding me from behind and my back was facing his chest. His lean arms wrapped around me. We sat there for some while. Paul then proceeded to rub my neck with his beard. It wasn't much of a beard- at that time everyone's beard was basically a layer of stubble on one's face. But oh how nice it felt to have his warmth on my body. 

I felt a rush of ecstasy down my spine and electricity running through my bones. 

Paul started to bring his hands up into my shirt and started to lift it. At that moment, I turned my body so that I faced him. 

“I don't think that this is the best place to do this,” I thought that outside wasn't the most appropriate place to have sex. 

“Well then let's get going and we'll find a place where we could do it.” I didn't know where Paul got this newfound confidence. He'd always been this funny, slightly crazy pal of mine. But I had never seen him so confident and brimming with the masculine vibe that attracted him to me. 

And we were up and running again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I don't know where this is going. Let's all just pray it goes well. After all, I'm not much of a writer.
> 
> And I do plan on including more of the German language.
> 
> And please mention if I made any spelling or grammar mistakes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the smut you smut loving readers!1!1  
> Well I didn't feel like proof reading so if you happen to see a mistake, it would very appreciated if you comment so that I could fix it.  
> Hope you enjoy it!1!

It must have been a couple hours past midnight already. We weren't running any more for we were both exhausted. We walked through fields. Guided by the light of the moon and stars. Free from most of my worries, my biggest one was just getting Paul somewhere safe so we could be ourselves. Together. 

Walking had been so peaceful. Being alone with the only person who cares about you made me feel special. Paul and I had been holding hands the whole walk. Even though, at times, I would have to let go because my hands got sweaty. 

My stomach had been feeling weird during all this walking. It was hunger. We had eaten during the evening. It couldn't be my anxiety, I was certain that there was no one that wouldn't find us. This feeling was like none other. Something was bubbling inside my stomach. It was almost as if there was something inside my stomach that was trying to escape. My stomach was twisting and turning. I concluded that this was because I was with Paul. He made me feel things that I've never felt before and this- my stomach, was probably another one. 

At this point neither of us had any idea as to where we were going. Our prime objective was to just find some shelter to rest. Walking all this way had taken a toll on our stamina. We were both oh so exhausted. 

Well into our journey, we saw a building just upon a hill. I couldn't tell from afar what it was but as we approached, I could tell by the architecture that it was some barn. 

“Let's go inside, Paul. It might be empty and no one would notice.” I wasn't so sure about that part but at this point, anything would have done nicely. 

“Alright then, let's go in and rest for the night and we can leave in the morning,” Paul sounded so relieved. It was reassuring. 

As we reached the barn, I noticed that there was some other building quite nearby but Paul said that it wasn't such a good idea to go in where someone could easily find us. We weren't necessarily being followed or had a bounty for our heads, but it was just a measure of precaution. 

“Okay try to open the door quietly as possible, we don't want to make any noise,” Paul’s protectiveness was becoming well apparent by this point. I had never seen him so protective of anyone. Was this because he cared about me as I did him? I didn't like thinking about questions like these because my anxiety would go through the roof and would practically paralyze and plague me. 

Once we did enter the barn, we walked around, slowly and quietly. It was a bit difficult to see what with the no-lights-inside-a-barn thing. We couldn't hear a thing, so Paul and I split up so that we could cover more ground in our search for somewhere to sleep. 

Finally, we found a suitable spot in where we could be able to sleep: the farthest corner from the entrance. It wasn't the most ideal of sleeping spaces, but it did just fine. It was just some pile of straw and big sheets of cloth. Being the exhausted people from running, Paul and I both fell right to sleep, next to each other.

It was fine until my terrible anxiety woke me up. I started to worry about everything. Whether we could get home safely. If there was even a home to go to anymore. Will Paul be safe? Will I be able to protect him and take care of him? I think at one point I started to weep, loudly enough I suppose that it woke up Paul. He sat up in the spot in which be was sleeping. 

“What's the matter?” Paul asked me. 

“Everything, Paul. I hate everything at this moment. It's fucking terrible and everything's the matter.”

“It's all gonna be fine; I'm sure of it.” Paul placed his hands over mine in a comforting manner. 

“But what of it doesn't?” 

At that moment, Paul froze. He looked down at the floor. Then, all of a sudden, he pulls me into embrace, bringing our bodies as close as they can be. I hugged him back tightly, afraid of losing him. I didn't want to lose Paul. He had been the only real friend of mine. And at this point, we were more than just friends. Paul was absolutely, the greatest person in my life. He was strong and firm like a boulder. It's what I needed most in life, someone steady to keep me tied down. Paul was my boulder. 

All I felt was one of Paul's hand running through my hair while his other one was running up and down along my back. It was so comforting. Paul pulled out of the embrace and turned his face to mine. My heart stopped. Not really, but that's what I felt. His eyes gleamed brighter in the night sky than the moon itself. My thoughts were cut off by Paul placing both hands on each cheek and brought our taxes together, connecting at the lips. Paul had been very passionate when kissing me. It sent electricity up my spine. 

I knew that I could have been overthinking about the situation but I could not bring myself to stop. This escape was the one thing on my mind. How could I not think about it at all? My thoughts has been consumed by one thing and one thing only: just getting home safe. That was a lie. There was another thing on my mind: my status with Paul. I haven't been with someone in this manner since Yvonne Binnet. But she was out of my mind really. My attention was focused on Paul and how amazing his kissing made me felt.

“Is something on your mind?” Paul's remark brought me back to earth. 

“There's a lot,” I replied, letting out a big sigh. 

“I know,” Paul said as he pulled the hair out of my face. “I know.” There was something different about they way Paul's gestures and actions made me feel. It was gentle yet laced with energy and excitement. At the same time, he was firm and hardy in nature as a knight would when protecting a damsel. It felt good. It felt almost as if a big weight was being lifted off my shoulders. “Well, let me help you get everything off your mind.” Paul leaned in for another kiss as he ran his good hand up my shirt. He started to pull my shirt up, I thought or at least that's what it felt like. 

Rather than waiting, I began to unbutton my shirt myself, then Paul's. At this point, all I wanted was to be as close to Paul as I possibly could and now is the perfect time. I knew it and Paul knew it too. There was so much passion in his eyes. It sent goosebumps down my back. Paul grabbed the waistband of my pants and pulled me over him. I was hyperventilating with excitement and lust at this point.

Paul started to grind his hips against mine. I could feel his hard on rubbing against my own. It was surprising how exhilarating this simple act made me feel. 

“I want you inside of me, Paul. Right here right now,” I leaned down so I could breathe down his neck. “Please, Paul. I want this.” 

“I know you do,” Paul said with a smirk before kissing me. “Now let's get these pants down.”

Paul was commanding, yet gentle at the same time. Somehow, even with his bad hand, he was able to flip me and position himself so that he lays above me. It became certain that Paul was clearly the dominant man in this relationship and it felt amazing. I fell into a state of ecstasy. 

“Paul, I want you inside of me now. Please, I beg of you.”

“Well then let's get these clothes off of us.” At that point, I hurried to take off my clothes as quickly as possible. Well my shirt, I left on but totally unbuttoned. It was my pants that needed removing. After my pants came off, I helped Paul take his off for he only had his one good hand really supporting himself. I had never realized how strong he was. His torso was chiseled like a Greek god, and unlike a Greek god, his penis was a decent size. 

That always struck me to be odd: in Greek sculptures, it always appeared that people of higher status had, on average, smaller penises when compared to sculptures where those who were unruly and obnoxious were depicted. It was likely a sign that those with smaller penises were people who were moral and righteous in a sense. This is probably not true; don't quote me for that. Now where was I? Oh right! Coitus with Paul.

We lay there, practically naked, with the exception of my shirt. Our hard, erect penises rubbing against each other as Paul rocks his hips up and down. At this point, I had been breathing quite a bit due to me being sexually aroused. The way Paul was kissing me, whether it was on my lips, cheeks neck or pecs and the way our penises come in contact with one another all just take my breath away. Paul sat up on his knees in a way where his thighs lay upon his calves. I scooted myself so that my legs lay upon Paul's shoulders and with this, Paul has easy access to me. 

“Paul, please. I need this.”

“On how I find you more attractive when you beg,” Paul said with a low raspy voice. 

Paul slicked his fingers by sticking them in his mouth. Slowly, he took his index finger and entered my anus, preparing me for what's to come.

“You're going to have to relax your anal sphincter muscles or else this will hurt,” Paul said with that same low voice. And I did as I was told. I'd do anything for him. Somehow, Paul was doing all this even with his bad hand. It was almost as if he didn't feel his hand hurting anymore. 

Paul was very straightforward with the current situation. He was- and he still is by the way, goal oriented. When he had anything in mind, he set his mind to completing his objectives. It was a blessing to me because I had no idea what I needed to do at any time. I always felt lost, except for when I was with Paul. I felt whole finally. 

Paul moved his finger, in and out, slow and steady, to prepare me. I hadn't felt anything like this before. It felt as if I were walking on clouds and this was only just the beginning! Paul took his finger out to re-slick it with his saliva and repeated the process. Now, he used two fingers to slowly open me up. My breathing hitched from pleasure. 

“Oh Paul how you take care of me,” I said, in the verge of moaning. 

“Well you took care of me earlier so it's time I repay the favor.” Paul was amazing. He literally was a saint sent from heaven. It’s as if he was the Righteous Man and his mission was to save me from the hell that is this cafard. 

When Paul thought that I was well prepared, he lied back and I was to sit above him, taking him inside of me, since his hand was still hurt. It took a while trying to adjust our bodies since it was dark and we could hardly see a thing. When Paul entered me, I felt a pulse of pleasure that I hadn't felt before. Paul was lying there as I did all the movement: all the ups and downs. This was all new to me. I had no idea what I was to do. My actions were guided by my heart: I only did what felt right to me, what felt natural to me. 

By the moans that Paul made, I assumed that he had orgasmed. It felt great knowing that I helped Paul feel this amazing. Once he orgasmed, he grabbed my penis and starting to stroke since my hands were occupied with supporting myself. Paul helped me ride through my orgasm which sent electricity throughout my body. It was the greatest pleasure that I had experienced. That, however made a mess on Paul's stomach and chest. Paul had decided to use his under garments to clean up the mess off of the both of us. 

“Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it.” 

“Thank you, Paul.”

After Paul was finished cleaning, we both put our clothes back on and we went to get the sleep we could. It wouldn't be much sleep, but any amount would be beneficial to us both. We lied down next to each other side by side to sleep. The exhaustion made it easy to sleep. 

This had possibly been the best night of my life.

**Author's Note:**

> And by the way, any suggestions that you may have would be very much appreciated.


End file.
